yep. [ And just to make it clear that he means it, Jake gives Chishiya a quick slobbering lick to the face. Afterwards, perceptive onlookers might notice the dog's shoulders... shaking a little, like its suppressing a laugh. That, or having some sort of seizure. ] now go find someone working and ask where they keep the good stuff.
Excuse me, sir? [ A short shop attendant asks, stepping out from seemingly nowhere to assist the new customer. At the sight of the dog and the sound of the customer's strange non sequitur, he looks a little lost for words.
Was this man threatening to tackle him to the floor? ]
Can I... help you?
[ Jake chooses this moment to lick Chishiya's face again. ]
[He doesn’t actually miss a beat at the appearance of the store’s clerk. He turns his attention to him easily, as if he wasn’t just arguing with a dog in public.
But then of course Jake is slobbering on him again. He takes a breath and sends Jake a message:]
You little shit.
[And then a moment later responds to the clerk.]
I’m looking for your men's formal wear. [And then after a beat he adds:] The good stuff.
[ Who, Jake? A little shit? Perish the thought! You'd certainly never guess that from how he was panting loudly right up against Chishiya's face, getting hot dog breath and shed fur all over him.
The clerk smiles thinly, torn between his desire to ask the man to leave with his creature and the fat commission implied by Chishiya's request. After a beat, he decides to go with the latter. ]
Well, we have a wide selection of menswear for formal occasions. Are you looking for a particular style or are you attending a specific event?
[He offers a bland smile of his own to match the clerk’s thin one, doing an excellent job of pretending he doesn’t want to murder the dog he’s holding.]
Something for the upcoming charity gala.
[Then to Jake he sends another message:]
Is this revenge for not answering your questions about my shirt?
oh dang! so you admit you were totally dodging the question, looks like we're getting somewhere folks!
[ The text comes through as Jake scrambles onto Chishiya's shoulder, barking at a "definitely real and not made up to be annoying" dog passing by the shop window outside. ]
Ah... [ The clerk begins, glancing from Jake back to Chishiya. ] The gala? The whole town is abuzz about it, we've had quite a few Federation officers through here to be fitted. Would you be interested in a bespoke suit? Our tailor can have your custom fitted suit ready in time for the gala, we just need to take a few measurements and make some fabric selections.
[ At that suggestion, Jake briefly forgets his barking ruse, turning to look at Chishiya and yip once, affirmatively, in his face. That one, do that. ]
Ah. Of course. He's... a very charming little fellow, isn't he. [ The clerk says with the practiced agreeableness that only came from working with a certain kind of clientele. A clientele that included individuals who insist upon the carrying around of their spoiled, poorly behaved lap dogs. ]
While dogs aren’t generally allowed in the fitting area, I’ll make an exception in your case. [ He smiles, gesturing elegantly toward a curtained area and nodding for Chishiya to follow. ]
( pretty sure this guy thinks you're rich, dude. don't blow it. )
Once I take your measurements, I can show you our fine collection of fabric options. We offer just about every color you could imagine, including custom hues if you'd prefer. Once you've made your selection, we can get to work discussing detailing; lapels, cuffs, buttons, stitching styles, tailoring...
[ Jake could already feel his eyes getting heavy as the clerk rattled off the seemingly innumerable features that he and Chishiya would be discussing. Thankfully, the entertainment value of the man was ultimately immaterial when matched with the thrill of biting Chishiya's hand whenever he strayed toward anything tasteful or classy. Not on Jake's watch, buddy.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Because dog slobber is definitely violence, right.]
You know I could just drop you on the floor.
[He mutters, but does actually seek out "the good stuff" anyway.]
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Was this man threatening to tackle him to the floor? ]
Can I... help you?
[ Jake chooses this moment to lick Chishiya's face again. ]
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But then of course Jake is slobbering on him again. He takes a breath and sends Jake a message:]
You little shit.
[And then a moment later responds to the clerk.]
I’m looking for your men's formal wear. [And then after a beat he adds:] The good stuff.
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The clerk smiles thinly, torn between his desire to ask the man to leave with his creature and the fat commission implied by Chishiya's request. After a beat, he decides to go with the latter. ]
Well, we have a wide selection of menswear for formal occasions. Are you looking for a particular style or are you attending a specific event?
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Something for the upcoming charity gala.
[Then to Jake he sends another message:]
Is this revenge for not answering your questions about my shirt?
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[ The text comes through as Jake scrambles onto Chishiya's shoulder, barking at a "definitely real and not made up to be annoying" dog passing by the shop window outside. ]
Ah... [ The clerk begins, glancing from Jake back to Chishiya. ] The gala? The whole town is abuzz about it, we've had quite a few Federation officers through here to be fitted. Would you be interested in a bespoke suit? Our tailor can have your custom fitted suit ready in time for the gala, we just need to take a few measurements and make some fabric selections.
[ At that suggestion, Jake briefly forgets his barking ruse, turning to look at Chishiya and yip once, affirmatively, in his face. That one, do that. ]
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[He makes some attempt to rearrange Jake so the dog can no longer attempt to climb over his shoulder as he addresses the clerk again.]
Sorry. I guess I should really get him into some sort of training boot camp. He gets terrible separation anxiety, you see; he can’t be left alone.
[He says all this with the utmost performative regret, before adding:]
I’d definitely be interested in a bespoke suit.
[Did he agree to this because of Jake’s approval or to help ensure they don’t get kicked out on their asses? Hard to say.]
🎀
While dogs aren’t generally allowed in the fitting area, I’ll make an exception in your case. [ He smiles, gesturing elegantly toward a curtained area and nodding for Chishiya to follow. ]
( pretty sure this guy thinks you're rich, dude. don't blow it. )
Once I take your measurements, I can show you our fine collection of fabric options. We offer just about every color you could imagine, including custom hues if you'd prefer. Once you've made your selection, we can get to work discussing detailing; lapels, cuffs, buttons, stitching styles, tailoring...
[ Jake could already feel his eyes getting heavy as the clerk rattled off the seemingly innumerable features that he and Chishiya would be discussing. Thankfully, the entertainment value of the man was ultimately immaterial when matched with the thrill of biting Chishiya's hand whenever he strayed toward anything tasteful or classy. Not on Jake's watch, buddy.
They were going to be here awhile.]